Mika Nakashima - Boku ga Shinou to Omotta no wa Lyrics + English Translation

僕が死のうと思ったのは　ウミネコが桟橋で鳴いたから
波の随意に浮かんで消える　過去も啄ばんで飛んでいけ
僕が死のうと思ったのは　誕生日に杏の花が咲いたから
その木漏れ日でうたた寝したら　虫の死骸と土になれるかな

薄荷飴　漁港の灯台　錆びたアーチ橋　捨てた自転車
木造の駅のストーブの前で　どこにも旅立てない心
今日はまるで昨日みたいだ　明日を変えるなら今日を変えなきゃ
分かってる　分かってる　けれど

僕が死のうと思ったのは　心が空っぽになったから
満たされないと泣いているのは　きっと満たされたいと願うから

僕が死のうと思ったのは　靴紐が解けたから
結びなおすのは苦手なんだよ　人との繋がりもまた然り
僕が死のうと思ったのは　少年が僕を見つめていたから
ベッドの上で土下座してるよ　あの日の僕にごめんなさいと

パソコンの薄明かり　上階の部屋の生活音
インターフォンのチャイムの音　耳を塞ぐ鳥かごの少年
見えない敵と戦ってる　六畳一間のドンキホーテ
ゴールはどうせ醜いものさ

僕が死のうと思ったのは　冷たい人と言われたから
愛されたいと泣いているのは　人の温もりを知ってしまったから

僕が死のうと思ったのは　あなたが綺麗に笑うから
死ぬことばかり考えてしまうのは　きっと生きる事に真面目すぎるから

僕が死のうと思ったのは　まだあなたに出会ってなかったから
あなたのような人が生まれた　世界を少し好きになったよ

あなたのような人が生きてる　世界に少し期待するよ

boku ga shinou to omotta no wa umineko ga sanbashi de naita kara
nami no manima ni ukande kieru kako mo tsuibande tonde yuke
boku ga shinou to omotta no wa tanjoubi ni anzu no hana ga saita kara
sono komorebi de utatane shitara mushi no shigai to tsuchi ni nareru kana

hakka ame gyokou no toudai sabita aachikyou suteta jitensha
mokuzou no eki no sutoobu no mae de doko ni mo tabidatenai kokoro
kyou wa marude kinou mitai da asu wo kaeru nara kyou wo kaenakya
wakatteru wakatteru keredo

boku ga shinou to omotta no wa kokoro ga karappo ni natta kara
mitasarenai to naiteiru no wa kitto mitasaretai to negau kara

boku ga shinou to omotta no wa kutsuhimo ga hodoketa kara
musubinaosu no wa nigate nan da yo hito to no tsunagari mo mata shikari
boku ga shinou to omotta no wa shounen ga boku wo mitsumeteita kara
beddo no ue de dogeza shiteru yo ano hi no boku ni gomennasai to

pasokon no usuakari joukai no heya no seikatsuon
intaafon no chaimu no oto mimi wo fusagu torikago no shounen
mienai teki to tatakatteru rokujou hitoma no donkihoote
gooru wa douse minikui mono sa

boku ga shinou to omotta no wa tsumetai hito to iwareta kara
aisaretai to naiteiru no wa hito no nukumori wo shitte shimatta kara

boku ga shinou to omotta no wa anata ga kirei ni warau kara
shinu koto bakari kangaete shimau no wa kitto ikiru koto ni majime sugiru kara

boku ga shinou to omotta no wa mada anata ni deattenakatta kara
anata no you na hito ga umareta sekai wo sukoshi suki ni natta yo

anata no you na hito ga ikiteru sekai ni sukoshi kitai suru yo

I thought of dying because a black-tailed gull was cawing on the pier
Peck at my past that floats and disappears on the waves, then fly away
I thought of dying because apricot blossoms bloomed on my birthday
If I dozed under the light that filtered through the leaves, would I return to earth together with insect remains?

Peppermint candy, the lighthouse at the fishing port, a rusty arch bridge, the bicycle I threw away
A heart that can’t set out on a journey remains in front of the stove of a wooden train station
Today is just like yesterday Got to change today to change tomorrow
I know, I know, but

I thought of dying because my heart became empty
I guess I cry over being unfulfilled because I want to be fulfilled

I thought of dying because my shoelaces became untied
I’m not good at tying them, just like I’m not good at building ties with people
I thought of dying because a boy stared at me
I’m on the bed kneeling down, apologizing to myself from that day

The faint light from the computer, household noises from the room upstairs
The doorbell intercom buzzes, the boy in the birdcage covers his ears
Struggling against an invisible enemy, a Don Quixote in a 6 tatami-mat room
What awaits at the finish line will be horrible anyway

I thought of dying because I was told I’m cold-hearted
I cry over wanting to be loved because I’ve discovered the warmth of human touch

I thought of dying because you laugh so beautifully
I guess I think about dying all the time because I take living too seriously

I thought of dying because I hadn’t met you yet
I like the world a little better for bringing someone like you into this world

I’m going to place a bit of hope in this world because someone like you is in it